Caroline de Maigret
How to Make Him Think You Have a Lover
Appear lost in thought: sit by a window and stare into space.
Buy yourself some new lingerie or take up smoking again.
Cry from time to time for no reason.
Shower frequently. Spend extra time in the bathroom.
Editor’s Note: Is it strange that I do these things already yet have no lover on the side?
You’d rather discuss the last film you saw, not Lamaze breathing: you are in tune with the times.
You don’t believe your belly entitles you to be high maintenance: you are a grown up.
You don’t plan a baby shower: you don’t need to celebrate the fact that you had sex eight months ago.
You wear high heels until the day you walk into the delievery room: you never surrender.
Do not dye your hair, or if you do, only in your original color to highlight it, or to hide any gray.
Do not dry your hair with a hair dryer.
Falling asleep with damp hair will give it a more interesting shape when you wake up. It’s not worth washing your hair every day, as it’s usually on the following day that your hair gains a certain weight that in turn gives it the right volume when tied up in a bun.
As your face gets messier with age, your hair can get neater, for balance.
The Wardrobe Essentials
Jeans: anytime, anywhere, and any way. Take a Parisienne’s jeans out of her closet and she feels naked.
The little black blazer: it smartens up a scruffy pair of jeans.
The white shirt: it’s iconic and timeless.
A long trench.
A thick scarf.
The oversied sweater that slips off your shoulder.
Basic oversized sunglasses:Every day, even when it’s raining, because you always have a reason to wear them: too bright out, a hangover, tear running down your face, a desire to be mysterious.
An oversized shirt: You always undo one extra button so it doesn’t look serious. In general, you borrow your boyfriend’s. You’ll never return it and you may even one day wear it in somebody else’s arms. Love can fade, but some fashion lasts forever.
She is full of contradictions
She drinks vodka in the evening and green tea in the morning.
She’s an environmentalist but sometimes takes her scooter to buy a baguette.
She’s a feminist but watches porn.
She behaves insufferably and is flabbergasted when she gets dumped.
She buys expensive shoes but never polishes them.
Always be fuckable: when standing in line at the bakery on a Sunday morning, buying champagne in the middle of the night, or even picking the kids up from school. You never know.
Don’t be afraid of aging.
No one should ever see your gums when you talk or laugh.
Go to the theater, to museums, and to concerts as often as possible: it gives you a healthy glow.
Cut your own hair or ask your sister to do it for you. Of course you know celebrity hairdressers, but only as friends.
Make it look easy. Everything you do should be effortless and graceful.